Thursday, July 29, 2010

Taco Hell

So no clients today due to staff meeting. But no worries! One of my co-workers shared something just as entertaining. Apparently she was there once when UPS delivered the ground beef to Taco Bell... which is kind of disturbing in itself... and on the package it read, "Grade D, But Edible."

So thank you Taco bell for caring about your customers SO much that you scrape the crap from the bottom of the barrel so they will never have to go without those fancy tacos.

USDA (grading)

USDA (meat facts)

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Wait, babies need to eat??

Today a mother with a 6 month old baby came to talk with me for an "infant assessment." I took a complete dietary intake for a typical 24 hours for this baby. So what is this baby eating? 1-2 8oz bottles of formula....are you looking for the rest? Yeah me too. NO Food and only 8-16oz of formula! How this baby is still alive I may never know.

Babies are people too- FEED THEM!

6 month old feeding schedule

A word from the Experts

Two Generations of Stupidity

14, yes fourteen year old girl today came in with her 2 week old baby. Tells me her DOCTOR told her to give the baby water...cause that's believable. So this baby is getting 3 8oz bottles of water a day. My first thought, this is why babies shouldn't be having babies. Ok so she doesn't know why the doctor told her this but says he explained it to her mother, who is in the lobby. So I go out to find grandma, and grandma has an attitude I'm pretty sure she brought just for me. Grandma tells me this, "OH no, I am giving her water because I WANT to! Water is good for babies!" Is that right? Now I'm not sure what her definition of "good is" but last time i checked, that much water can kill a baby. I explained to her what water intoxication is and how easy it is for a baby to get this. What response do I get... She looks at me with this face that says **** you, then says, "FINE, I won't give her any water." Gee I'm so sorry it is such an inconvenience for you to make sure you don't kill your grandchild.

Ending Thought: This is why stupid people shouldn't have babies.

Infant Water Intoxication: todaysparent

One more word on water

Saturday, July 24, 2010


A couple months ago I had a 17 year old pregnant girl in my office. She had marked on the questionnaire that she drinks soda. It's typical that I will ask how much they are drinking each day, and it's normally 1-3 cups...... This girl looked me in the eyes, cool as could be and said, ... "like 19 bottles, but now since I'm pregnant only 8."

oh ok good. Well your probably ONLY going to develop gestational Diabetes.

Diabetes & Soda

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Hygiene is a Four Letter Word?

There are 3 main smells that permeate from the WIC office on a regular basis...

1. Cigarette smoke- why does your 2 year old reek of cigarettes?
2. Cat urine- I don't care if your used to it, I'm not. Clean that litter box much? Didn't think so.
3. Body Odor- Don't pretend like you can't smell your own BO, If I can smell you across the room, I know you can smell yourself.

So Please, smoke outside, take a shower, and for God's sake...or at least mine, put on deodorant.

The blonde girl with glasses

After I finished counceling this woman about her son for a good 20 minutes, I sent her out to the lobby to fill out a short survey. She turned it in to one of the clerks and said, "Here, the lady with the blonde hair and glasses gave me this." I have dark brown hair and do not wear glasses.

Someone's IQ is clearly off the charts.

Bacon has no Carbs, Suprise!

A couple months ago I was working in another WIC clinic when I saw this pregnant lady. She said she had been on a "low-carb" diet for a while and had lost a good amount of weight. When I attempted to explain to her that she would need to put this diet on hold while she was pregnant, she insisted on telling me her whole life story, along with showing me serveral different pictures of herself from over the years as well as a few different drivers liscence pictures of herself at different weights. Needless to say I got way more than I had bargained for. An hour later, when she finally stopped rambling, I sent her up to get her checks from the clerk, who ironically was on some sort of "high-carb" diet. I then heard the woman tell the clerk, "You probably don't know this, but bacon has no carbs!"

Look out for this woman's book..."How I lost 200 Pounds Eating Bacon"
(I'd check in the fiction section)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Bottomless Pit? I think not...

A few weeks ago I had a mom and dad tell me that they were concerned about their baby because every time he would drink a bottle, he would vomit. The dad says to me, "you know, like reflux."Valid concern thus far. I see infants with mild to severe reflux on a weekly basis.  Now an infant his age should be getting between 24 and 32 ounces of formula per day. Come to find out, they are giving him about 90 ounces of formula a day. Umm... hello? Your baby is not a bottomless pit. Only so much goes in before it starts coming back out, by any means necessary. But wait! It gets better! Positive that their baby had reflux, they informed me that they started putting baby cereal in all of these formula bottles to "keep it down." When I told them that their baby in fact did not have reflux, but that they were overfeeding him, they looked at me with blank stares.

And the Obesity epidemic is passed on to another generation. Congratulations parents.

Feeding your baby

Here we go...

It's a slow day in WIC today with all the usual suspects.

1. A mom who is giving her 5 month old sweet tea, in a bottle, every day.
2. A doctor who told one of my moms that she should give her 2 month old fruits and veggies.
3. A 3 year old with rotting teeth, who's mom had NO idea it was from the 6 cups of juice a day.
4. And the pregnant lady who thinks breastfeeding is going to hurt and make her boobs sag.